'cause i don't do too well on my own

"It feels like drowning. That’s how I’d explain it. Life. It feels like drowning in the most beautiful elegant ocean in existence. It’s like grasping at the water to get to the top, it’s like sinking by the beautiful fish and remarkable sea life. You’d ask me how it began. It began when I entered the water, just like learning to swim. It took me a little bit too long to figure out that there was no justice, no truth, no forgiveness. No one is going to jump in to save you, it’s all on you. No getting around it, no turning back. All I could see was the shadows that I left behind me, like footsteps in the sand. And all I could look forward to were the splinters of light where I imagined that hope broke through. My parents said, one day things will be different. They promised me someday I would understand. I’m beginning to lose faith in those promises, because the water just keeps getting deeper and darker, and it’s getting harder to see where I’m going. There’s always been those people, the people who love to tear you down. The sharks, vicious and intimidating. But I read somewhere, maybe in a magazine, that sharks are just as afraid as us as we are of them. So I guess that counts for something. Everyone is just as scared and oblivious as you are, you just can’t get lost in the tide, fight for your life. Through all the emotional hardships I’ve been through, I’d like to tell you I have it all figured out. But words are just words. And every lesson unlearned is a secret waiting to be hushed and told. So no, I don’t have a tragic tale of abuse and harm. Just a battle of thoughts and being scared. Now I feel like I’m running into disaster left and right, and I was dropped into an oblivion where I was doomed to failure and the crash of the waves drowns out the hope . As I’m growing up, all I feel is mislead. Like my lungs are collapsing and I’m still trying to have my voice heard. Nothing is ever enough, but we work at it and we try. So I’ll hide away my memories in a box, keeping them away from the corrupted mess of a world. And I’ll pretend I’m still strong until I can get to the surface and gasp for air."


by fauximpact.tumblr.com