Há 12 anos
Mostrando postagens com marcador it takes a day or two to make my brain behave. Mostrar todas as postagens
Mostrando postagens com marcador it takes a day or two to make my brain behave. Mostrar todas as postagens
agosto 26, 2009
i do live in a box
você está preso em uma grande caixa branca e branco é uma cor tão desesperadora e vocÊ não entende porque usam em hospitais para acalmar, todos dizem, mas não acalma só piora e piora de uma maneira devastadora. piora de uma maneira que dói. e faz parecer ainda mais vazio. vazio vazio vazio e igual e ai vem o desespero de saber que é semrpe assim e você não sabe como as pessoas consegue ter vidas comuns com suas tão bem planejadas rotinas porque você quer dormir por três dias diretos e passar semanas sem ver outro ser humano porque é tudo sempre tão igual e doloroso e branco e ninguém parece se importar. você raramente encontrar pessoas que sentem essa dor que percebem que sabem do vazio a caixa as paredes brancas. são tão poucas as pessoas que não olham cheias de dó e perguntam mas o que foi que te aconteceu, meu anjo, tudo está tão bem e está e está como sempre esteve e como sempre via estar porque é que você não enxerga?! está ali e sempre esteve e é enorme e vazio e igual e igual e sempre a mesma coisa não importa o quanto você tente mudar. você nunca consegue mudar. você nem sabe o que, ms tenta e tenta e tenta e é como se você estivesse arranhando as paredes da caixa e seus dedos começam a sangrar, mas não tem efeito algum exceto a dor que vem porque a dor é algo que chega a confortar. a dor que você sente faz com que você saiba que no meio daquele vazio branco desesperador está você e mesmo sendo tudo tão terrível você ainda sente. você passa a amar a dor a procura-la porque as mudanças não vieram e não virão e as pessoas seguem suas vidas e tudo continua como sempre foi e você ainda se desespera porque como é que tanta gente pode simplesmente não ver ou ignorar ignorar ignorar ignorar algo tão claro tão doloroso. e cada vez que pensa sobre isso você se desespera e são lágrimas e soluços e pensamentos suicidas e vontades de fugir ou de mudar tudo que você puder mudar. pintar o cabelo ou cortar até não ter cabelo para pintar ou nãoa tender telefonemas ou dirigir sem parar até estar dois estados do ponto de partida numa praia que você nunca ouviu falar e saber que tem que voltar para todo aquele vazio cercado de paredes brancas e é ai que você sofre um acidente ou outro e é ai que se quebra um braço ou se queima a barriga com cigarro ou acaba precisandod e três pontos na mão porque a faca escorregou enquanto descascava laranja. você precisa ter algo para se agarrar. você não pode se perder no vazio, você se recusa porque você sabe, lá no fundo no fundo mesmo voc~e sabe que quas eninguém mais liga porque são tipos diferentes de pessoas e que se você se afogar ninguém vai perceber e ninguém vai te trazer de volta. você precisa disso. você não quer desaparecer no vazio.
julho 06, 2009
well...i'm not happy but i'm not sad (kind of)
eles acabaram. e isso me deixa tremendamente triste. eu nunca vou poder ir a um show ou algo assim. por um lado, eu meio que compreendo, mas meu lado fangirl está meio que entrando em desespero. eu meio que quero ficar feliz por eles, mas...
sei lá
sei lá
junho 25, 2009
eu meio que me sinto triste. não sei. tem um monte de coisas acontecendo e um monte não acontecendo e eu realmente não sei. talvez eu tenha acabado de fazer a maior besteira da minha vida. minha família vai me matar mesmo que eu não tenho ferrado tanto quanto a mãe. eu deveria estar ajeitando uma porção de coisas, mas sei lá. não quero falar com ninguém. não quero fazer nada. não quero ver ninguém, não quero colocar nem um pé para fora do meu quarto, da miha cama. eu poderia fazer uma barraca e morar lá por alguns dias. eu perdi uma prova e nota por não ter ido na aula hoje, mas sair da cama parecia a pior idéia possível. e ter que lidar com todas aquelas pessoas. e eu realmente não ouvi o despertador tocar, mas quando eu acordei atrasada. não sei. eu fiquei aliviada de não ter que ir. minhas costelas doem e eu tenho vontade de chorar, mas não sei realmente explicar. talvez não sei seja mminha frase favorita agora, mas ela se aplica tão bem em tantas coisas. eu nem consigo pensar direito.
maio 15, 2009
A List of Beautiful Moments Numbers 1 to 100:
1- Sometimes people surprise you.
2- Sometimes the sun shines with a glow that feels
strangely like love.
3- Sometimes people paint and draw with so much passion
that you have to close your eyes and take a deep breath
just to draw it all in.
4- Sometimes people sing.
5- Sometimes the trees blow just right in the wind, and
you can hear them singing.
6- Sometimes the air smells like bonfires and apples and
rain.
7- Sometimes the smell of flowers is all around you, but you
can’t figure out where it’s coming from.
8- Sometimes people care.
9- Sometimes a new day is an adventure that fills you with
excitement.
10- Sometimes waking up is like being born again.
11- Sometimes music or words are so beautiful they give you
tingles all over your body, and you sparkle.
12- Sometimes strangers smile at you as you walk by, and it
makes you feel warm inside, so you pass the smile on.
13- Sometimes in autumn when the air is just cold enough so
you can see your breath, you can take a walk outside and
everything is alive with sparks.
14- Sometimes there are fireworks.
15- Sometimes there’s fudge.
16- Sometimes the clouds move so slowly that you think time
is standing still.
17- Sometimes you have this moment where your house becomes
your home.
18- Sometimes your bed is the nicest place in the world.
19- Sometimes love is all around.
20- Sometimes your friends call you out of the blue to go for
coffee, and you have the best talk you’ve ever had.
21- Sometimes you talk on the phone all night, ‘cause you just
don’t want to stop.
22- Sometimes new people make you feel good about you.
23- Sometimes there are comics and hot chocolate.
24- Sometimes a movie makes you cry.
25- Sometimes pain is absolutely beautiful.
26- Sometimes the experience of being human is more than you can
take, and you feel like you’re going to burst with joy.
27- Sometimes people love each other so much that they can’t breathe,
and they can’t see.
28- Sometimes swimming feels like flying.
29- Sometimes the band is performing just for you.
30- Sometimes the sea smells like heaven.
31- Sometimes you close your eyes, and you realise something about
yourself that you never thought of before.
32- Sometimes things change.
33- Sometimes things stay the same.
34- Sometimes life is so big that you don’t think you can ever see
everything you want to.
35- Sometimes you love something you never thought you’d like.
36- Sometimes people show you something they love.
37- Sometimes magic is all around you, and you can feel it.
38- Sometimes winter is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.
39- Sometimes someone walks into the room, and you just can’t take
your eyes off them.
40- Sometimes people are magic.
41- Sometimes there’s candy.
42- Sometimes you achieve things you never thought possible.
43- Sometimes something someone says is exactly what you need to
hear.
44- Sometimes someone writes something that seems to be about you.
45- Sometimes colours look brighter and more beautiful than they
ever have before.
46- Sometimes the world is new.
47- Sometimes you have to stop for a moment because everything
around you is just so overwhelming you can’t take it all in.
48- Sometimes things are hard, but everything’s going to be ok.
49- Sometimes you just need to go out and be crazy.
50- Sometimes you’re with someone, and you just can’t help but
touch each other.
51- Sometimes hugs can heal anything.
52- Sometimes a kiss is like a raging river.
53- Sometimes it’s like a soft tide.
54- Sometimes you see the stars.
55- Sometimes you learn a new word.
56- Sometimes the way someone talks is enough to win you over.
57- Sometimes another language can be like the most beautiful
music.
58- Sometimes there’s passion.
59- Sometimes you wake up at midnight with a million ideas buzzing
around your head.
60- Sometimes life is worth living.
61- Sometimes people hold the door for you.
62- Sometimes you hold the door for them.
63- Sometimes there’s chocolate.
64- Sometimes people love you so much that you can feel it, even if
they don’t say a word.
65- Sometimes rain is energizing.
66- Sometimes a movie is so good you can watch it over and over and
over and over…
67- Sometimes loneliness is sweet.
68- Sometimes you open your email and you have 10 new messages,
all from your old friends, who miss you.
69- Sometimes you miss someone, and they miss you too.
70- Sometimes you meet up with someone by chance who you haven’t
seen in years.
71- Sometimes you have to lose yourself completely to find what
you’re looking for.
72- Sometimes freedom is all you need.
73- Sometimes you win.
74- Sometimes the waitress/waiter is amazing.
75- Sometimes people are sweet.
76- Sometimes you get an unexpected compliment that leaves you
beaming all day.
77- Sometimes you’re on holiday.
78- Sometimes the restaurant is playing your favourite song.
79- Sometimes your stuffed animal is your best friend.
80- Sometimes you look over at someone, and you know you’re
both thinking the same thing.
81- Sometimes people are willing to share.
82- Sometimes there’s ice cream.
83- Sometimes people fly across the world to see you.
84- Sometimes there’s magic in the air.
85- Sometimes you have way more money than you thought.
86- Sometimes you look awesome.
87- Sometimes love is all you need. well….always.
88- Sometimes a thunderstorm is captivating.
89- Sometimes you know the right answer.
90- Sometimes people smile through their tears.
91- Sometimes people thank you, and you don’t even know why.
92- Sometimes everything goes your way.
93- Sometimes people are willing to compromise.
94- Sometimes it’s time to party! :’)
95- Sometimes you’re in love.
96- Sometimes reading the last line of a book is like saying goodbye.
97- Sometimes you can be romantic.
98- Sometimes you have wonderful dreams.
99- Sometimes it’s your birthday.
100- Sometimes you’re not scared anymore.
(o texto não é meu)
2- Sometimes the sun shines with a glow that feels
strangely like love.
3- Sometimes people paint and draw with so much passion
that you have to close your eyes and take a deep breath
just to draw it all in.
4- Sometimes people sing.
5- Sometimes the trees blow just right in the wind, and
you can hear them singing.
6- Sometimes the air smells like bonfires and apples and
rain.
7- Sometimes the smell of flowers is all around you, but you
can’t figure out where it’s coming from.
8- Sometimes people care.
9- Sometimes a new day is an adventure that fills you with
excitement.
10- Sometimes waking up is like being born again.
11- Sometimes music or words are so beautiful they give you
tingles all over your body, and you sparkle.
12- Sometimes strangers smile at you as you walk by, and it
makes you feel warm inside, so you pass the smile on.
13- Sometimes in autumn when the air is just cold enough so
you can see your breath, you can take a walk outside and
everything is alive with sparks.
14- Sometimes there are fireworks.
15- Sometimes there’s fudge.
16- Sometimes the clouds move so slowly that you think time
is standing still.
17- Sometimes you have this moment where your house becomes
your home.
18- Sometimes your bed is the nicest place in the world.
19- Sometimes love is all around.
20- Sometimes your friends call you out of the blue to go for
coffee, and you have the best talk you’ve ever had.
21- Sometimes you talk on the phone all night, ‘cause you just
don’t want to stop.
22- Sometimes new people make you feel good about you.
23- Sometimes there are comics and hot chocolate.
24- Sometimes a movie makes you cry.
25- Sometimes pain is absolutely beautiful.
26- Sometimes the experience of being human is more than you can
take, and you feel like you’re going to burst with joy.
27- Sometimes people love each other so much that they can’t breathe,
and they can’t see.
28- Sometimes swimming feels like flying.
29- Sometimes the band is performing just for you.
30- Sometimes the sea smells like heaven.
31- Sometimes you close your eyes, and you realise something about
yourself that you never thought of before.
32- Sometimes things change.
33- Sometimes things stay the same.
34- Sometimes life is so big that you don’t think you can ever see
everything you want to.
35- Sometimes you love something you never thought you’d like.
36- Sometimes people show you something they love.
37- Sometimes magic is all around you, and you can feel it.
38- Sometimes winter is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.
39- Sometimes someone walks into the room, and you just can’t take
your eyes off them.
40- Sometimes people are magic.
41- Sometimes there’s candy.
42- Sometimes you achieve things you never thought possible.
43- Sometimes something someone says is exactly what you need to
hear.
44- Sometimes someone writes something that seems to be about you.
45- Sometimes colours look brighter and more beautiful than they
ever have before.
46- Sometimes the world is new.
47- Sometimes you have to stop for a moment because everything
around you is just so overwhelming you can’t take it all in.
48- Sometimes things are hard, but everything’s going to be ok.
49- Sometimes you just need to go out and be crazy.
50- Sometimes you’re with someone, and you just can’t help but
touch each other.
51- Sometimes hugs can heal anything.
52- Sometimes a kiss is like a raging river.
53- Sometimes it’s like a soft tide.
54- Sometimes you see the stars.
55- Sometimes you learn a new word.
56- Sometimes the way someone talks is enough to win you over.
57- Sometimes another language can be like the most beautiful
music.
58- Sometimes there’s passion.
59- Sometimes you wake up at midnight with a million ideas buzzing
around your head.
60- Sometimes life is worth living.
61- Sometimes people hold the door for you.
62- Sometimes you hold the door for them.
63- Sometimes there’s chocolate.
64- Sometimes people love you so much that you can feel it, even if
they don’t say a word.
65- Sometimes rain is energizing.
66- Sometimes a movie is so good you can watch it over and over and
over and over…
67- Sometimes loneliness is sweet.
68- Sometimes you open your email and you have 10 new messages,
all from your old friends, who miss you.
69- Sometimes you miss someone, and they miss you too.
70- Sometimes you meet up with someone by chance who you haven’t
seen in years.
71- Sometimes you have to lose yourself completely to find what
you’re looking for.
72- Sometimes freedom is all you need.
73- Sometimes you win.
74- Sometimes the waitress/waiter is amazing.
75- Sometimes people are sweet.
76- Sometimes you get an unexpected compliment that leaves you
beaming all day.
77- Sometimes you’re on holiday.
78- Sometimes the restaurant is playing your favourite song.
79- Sometimes your stuffed animal is your best friend.
80- Sometimes you look over at someone, and you know you’re
both thinking the same thing.
81- Sometimes people are willing to share.
82- Sometimes there’s ice cream.
83- Sometimes people fly across the world to see you.
84- Sometimes there’s magic in the air.
85- Sometimes you have way more money than you thought.
86- Sometimes you look awesome.
87- Sometimes love is all you need. well….always.
88- Sometimes a thunderstorm is captivating.
89- Sometimes you know the right answer.
90- Sometimes people smile through their tears.
91- Sometimes people thank you, and you don’t even know why.
92- Sometimes everything goes your way.
93- Sometimes people are willing to compromise.
94- Sometimes it’s time to party! :’)
95- Sometimes you’re in love.
96- Sometimes reading the last line of a book is like saying goodbye.
97- Sometimes you can be romantic.
98- Sometimes you have wonderful dreams.
99- Sometimes it’s your birthday.
100- Sometimes you’re not scared anymore.
(o texto não é meu)
maio 13, 2009
and isn't this exactly where i am?
"But I’d like to point out that you have to earn everything, that if you slack off for one second to stop and gasp for breath, everything you have will slip away without a doubt.
And I find myself losing who I am and what I wanted to be, I find myself losing all my warning signs and fear of the future, I find myself losing my motivation and aspirations, I find myself losing the people I love most.
And I have nothing to blame it on. I can’t blame it on being sick, on weed, on a fucked up family, on heartbreak, or on any disfuction you can think of.
All I can blame it on is myself and my unwillingness to conform to what life is.
Wake up, follow directions, go to sleep.
Wake up, follow directions, go to sleep.
Wake up, follow directions, go to sleep."
by drivemysoul
And I find myself losing who I am and what I wanted to be, I find myself losing all my warning signs and fear of the future, I find myself losing my motivation and aspirations, I find myself losing the people I love most.
And I have nothing to blame it on. I can’t blame it on being sick, on weed, on a fucked up family, on heartbreak, or on any disfuction you can think of.
All I can blame it on is myself and my unwillingness to conform to what life is.
Wake up, follow directions, go to sleep.
Wake up, follow directions, go to sleep.
Wake up, follow directions, go to sleep."
by drivemysoul
"When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend:
I'll get a coffee and the paper, have my own conversations
(with the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection)"
"And if you promise to stay conscious I will try and do the same.
(we might die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain)"
"And I'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this.
The reasons all have run away, but the feeling never did.
It's not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live"
Lua - Bright Eyes
I'll get a coffee and the paper, have my own conversations
(with the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection)"
"And if you promise to stay conscious I will try and do the same.
(we might die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain)"
"And I'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this.
The reasons all have run away, but the feeling never did.
It's not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live"
Lua - Bright Eyes
maio 10, 2009
High School Never Ends
Bowling For Soup
Four years you think for sure
Thats all youve got to endure
All the total dicks
All the stuck up chicks
So superficial, so immature
Then when you graduate
You take a look around and say HEY WAIT!
This is the same place where I just came from
I thought it was over
Aw that's just great
The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who's the best dressed and who's having sex,
Who's got the money, who gets the honeys,
Who's kinda cute and who's just a mess
And you still don't have the right look
And you don't have the right friends
Nothing changes but the faces, the names, and the trends
High school never ends
Check out the popular kids,
You'll never guess what Jessica did
How did Mary Kate lose all that weight?
And Katie had a baby so I guess Tom's straight
And the only thing that matters
Is climbing up that social ladder
Still care about your hair or the car you drive
Doesn't matter if you're sixteen or thirty-five
Reese Witherspoon, she's the prom queen
Bill Gates, captain of the chess team
Jack Black, the clown
Brad Pitt, the quarterback
I've seen it all before
I want my money back.
The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who's the best dressed and who's having sex,
Who's in the clubs, who's on the drugs,
Who's throwing up before they digest
And you still don't have the right look
And you don't have the right friends
And you're still listening to the same shit you did back then
High school never ends
The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who's the best dressed and who's having sex,
Who's got the money, who gets the honeys,
Who's kinda cute and who's just a mess
And you still don't have the right look
And I still have the same three friends
And I'm pretty much the same as I was back then
High school never ends
Bowling For Soup
Four years you think for sure
Thats all youve got to endure
All the total dicks
All the stuck up chicks
So superficial, so immature
Then when you graduate
You take a look around and say HEY WAIT!
This is the same place where I just came from
I thought it was over
Aw that's just great
The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who's the best dressed and who's having sex,
Who's got the money, who gets the honeys,
Who's kinda cute and who's just a mess
And you still don't have the right look
And you don't have the right friends
Nothing changes but the faces, the names, and the trends
High school never ends
Check out the popular kids,
You'll never guess what Jessica did
How did Mary Kate lose all that weight?
And Katie had a baby so I guess Tom's straight
And the only thing that matters
Is climbing up that social ladder
Still care about your hair or the car you drive
Doesn't matter if you're sixteen or thirty-five
Reese Witherspoon, she's the prom queen
Bill Gates, captain of the chess team
Jack Black, the clown
Brad Pitt, the quarterback
I've seen it all before
I want my money back.
The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who's the best dressed and who's having sex,
Who's in the clubs, who's on the drugs,
Who's throwing up before they digest
And you still don't have the right look
And you don't have the right friends
And you're still listening to the same shit you did back then
High school never ends
The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who's the best dressed and who's having sex,
Who's got the money, who gets the honeys,
Who's kinda cute and who's just a mess
And you still don't have the right look
And I still have the same three friends
And I'm pretty much the same as I was back then
High school never ends
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